BRATTLEBORO — This is a news story that should have been possible a long time ago. We are impressed that The Commons was willing to take on the challenge of reporting a story like this, while carefully examining the phenomenon of an “open secret” in our own community.
We view the breaking of silence as a very positive trend. How could it not be?
The challenge, to date, has been whether we are willing to give social currency to the voices of victim-survivors. We get it that anyone can be a victim. We are emphatically clear that women carry a heavier share of this burden, given how our culture works.
We understand why women would stay in a circle of community and maintain vital social connection where bad things were happening. We also understand why women would minimize harm in the process, including returning to situations that they had heard or experienced to be potentially unsafe.
In the case of the yoga misconduct, women who are seeking a goal of safety for themselves and other women are accused of “viciousness” when they publicly challenge a man's right to cross boundaries while he engages in his profession. They also face the presumption that if they are willing to speak in a public forum, they are rejecting equitable solutions.
Think about this for a minute. Where does the reader's own comfort level lie in this scenario? Why is it that we generally have more empathy for the pain and discomfort of male perpetrators than we do for the pain of their victims? And what about the pain that results from a lack of accountability and adequate response from victims' communities?
It's important to acknowledge that our systems present lousy venues for seeking accountability in a situation like this one. This systemic failure warrants examination, not inaction. Restorative-justice practices presume that victims are in the driver's seat; if there is no expression of culpability on the part of the perpetrator, the process is highly likely to cause more harm than good. It follows that if victims want to face their perpetrator privately, they should be supported in doing so.
Mr. Rizzo claims in his interview [“I'm not doing anything to make somebody hate me,” Special Focus, April 18] that “injuries happen” and that victims are “haters.”
That Mr. Rizzo delivered his request for private meetings with victims/“haters” on legal stationary further screams his position: he wants to tell victims they are wrong, while he holds a legal bat ready for swinging. Would the reader attend this meeting? Oddly, many bystanders will read this article and continue to put the onus on victims to seek procedures that are weighted in Mr. Rizzo's favor. We call B.S.
We are committed to the practice of believing women. We are also intent on healing the spaces between women who have been further harmed by being disbelieved, disempowered, and isolated from their communities following harassment and assault. We are collaborating with local therapist Emily Megas-Russell and the Women's Freedom Center to create a circle of safety and support for any self-identified woman experiencing the effects of this story. Men may also contact the Women's Freedom Center for resources.
Historically, in our culture, women are expected to seek healing (at their own expense), while men are expected to seek justice and/or vengeance. Seeing women speak out to create accountability in a venue like “#ThemToo” is still an uncommon experience, despite the precedence of Harvey Weinstein, Larry Nasser, et al. Silence breaking is a step, not the end game. We understand any squeamishness readers may experience during this process of change, as we search for better solutions. We are convinced our whole community will be better off for it.
The Women's Action Team stands in solidarity with victims. We support their efforts to break the silence that has empowered serial perpetrators of harm, harassment, and sexual aggression in our community. We acknowledge that victims suffer extreme consequences after experiencing acts of harm, harassment, and sexual aggression, while perpetrators continue with their lives and businesses undisturbed.
Victims and victims' advocates have the right to speak publicly, with legitimacy, about people who violate others. We support Diana Whitney, Sarah Dandelions, Emily Shapiro, and anyone who finds the courage to stand up to threats.
We are confident that the #MeToo movement will continue to bring accountability and justice to Brattleboro - and everywhere. The time for change is now.