PUTNEY — I am not sure who to talk to or how to go about this idea, but I would really like to work on a “no more” campaign in our area.
I was touched personally by the recent death of 20-year-old Katelyn McFadden in Townshend. I have been in this situation, and I know we as a community have to be more proactive in the way we teach our kids.
I have been mulling over how to deal with the death of this young girl I knew. I have come to the conclusion that it is all up to us as parents to not only teach our children kindness, but also self-worth.
I had one person say this isn't the time. But I think this is the perfect time to talk about domestic abuse.
* * *
Katelyn was a sweet and impressionable young woman; she didn't have the very best life, and she craved love. She fell head over heels for a young man who alternately abused and praised her.
She had an infectious smile and laugh. When she loved, it was with all her heart.
In their relationship, I'm sorry - I won't do it again alternated with I love you, I need you.
I told her to call me.
“It's my fault,” she said. “Everything's great now.”
* * *
Why is it that we, as a society, haven't learned that our daughters need to be taught self-worth and our sons need to be taught that violence is an unacceptable way to handle anger?
Self-preservation is not necessarily selfish. If your boyfriend hits you - ever - it's not love. It's never your fault - no matter what was said or done.
The other side of this issue is the mental health system; it's broken just about beyond repair. Katelyn had gone through some different programs, but when she left? That was it. No follow-up, no phone call to see if she needed help staying on track.
Basically, she was left on her own. Young people like Katelyn, 17-20 years of age, who fight alcohol and/drug issues have little concept of staying sober. They need help, but it just isn't there. The legal system is right there to arrest them and lock them up, though.
Our young folks need us more than they let on - not just to preach, but to lead by example, even if it means getting in their face and saying, “I love you, but you are killing yourself and we won't stand for it.”
* * *
I would like to see if anyone would be willing to help me talk to teachers at our local schools, and make sure our kids are reminded of what they are worth - no matter what. And if there is violence, regardless of the age, it needs to be addressed in a serious manner.
I would very much like to speak from experience to groups of young people, if the community is willing. Katelyn's death need not be without a lesson learned.