BRATTLEBORO — As I write this, it is the first day of a new year, and I, along with many others, ponder the mostly dreadful year that can't get into the rear view mirror fast enough. So long, 2020 - don't let the door hit you on the way out!
There is a sense of relief as I anticipate positive changes on the horizon.
I look forward to an administration that at least has the intention of focusing on things like racial injustice, climate change, and other inequities that have been made so much worse in the last four years.
And then there's COVID-19.
We all want this terrible pandemic to be behind us as soon as possible. And, of course, consistent with the botched handling of the pandemic from the beginning, the Trump administration is disorganized in the rollout of the vaccine. To say that they're behind the eight ball is putting it mildly.
So we Americans have to continue to hunker down and be patient and try to do the right thing a while longer. And to make it even more difficult, the virus has now mutated into a more-contagious strain. It's like we're running a race with the virus itself - or it's running a race with us to stay alive.
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One thing I've found both troubling and interesting over the past several weeks is the varied responses and, therefore, the varied choices that people make in regard to our current health crisis.
Admittedly, if we'd had a president who had behaved as a leader and who had responded appropriately instead of downplaying the virus threat or pretending it didn't exist, our national response and message might have been driven by science, not just re-election concerns.
But we didn't.
We did have Dr. Anthony Fauci, who in my opinion should be Person of the Year. We did have the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which was mostly consistent with science-based facts but still felt unreliable given Trump's meddling.
So, in a sense, everyone has been sort of winging it and making up their own minds on how they would respond and behave in regard to suggested protocols of masking, distancing, fraternizing, etc.
What has been interesting, and sometimes mind-blowing to me, is the variation in responses and behavior among people like me.
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I know that some people throughout the country have been influenced by damaging misinformation put out by Trump and his minions. And that has been unbelievable to some degree.
I feel so lucky to be living in a state where, generally speaking, the population is made up of level-head, common folk who for the most part have followed the like-minded directives of Gov. Phil Scott and his team. Hence, Vermont has some of the lowest per-capita cases of COVID-19 and related deaths.
Regardless of politics, it's hard to argue against the fact that Gov. Scott - another good, common-sense Vermonter - has done an excellent job of keeping Vermonters safe and healthy throughout this whole crisis.
But I know rational, intelligent, informed people who nonetheless continue to make decisions that run counter to the science-based directives. And every time one of these instances comes to my attention, I am frankly stunned.
It's a real head-scratcher. It doesn't add up either to what I know about the particular people in question and/or the possible consequences of their risky behavior. And it has caused not just consternation but curiosity - a kind of opportunity to look at their behavior as a kind of sociological phenomenon.
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Because I know and respect the people involved, I have found myself being more receptive to their possible justifications than I would with others with whom I have little in common. It still bothers me, but when I ask myself, “What could they be thinking?” it's not just a rhetorical question. I really want to know.
And in most cases, I've come to the conclusion that their beliefs and behavior must be driven by plain old COVID fatigue - the seemingly endless isolation, the frustration of life on hold, the uncertainty after almost a year.
We human beings are social creatures, and this pandemic reality has put that reality in high relief. Even if we are lucky enough to have a spouse or members of a small nuclear family who comprise a safe “pod,” that can cause other issues to emerge. At some point, we just feel like we need to break out of the constraints, mix it up, and maybe rebel.
So, many of us begin to move the gauge of safe behavior to suit our emotional needs.
That's where it becomes interesting.
That behavior reveals something about us individually. Yes, perhaps absent a national directive from a competent leader there is a natural tendency to individualize our responses. We all have to make everyday, minute-by-minute decisions to keep ourselves and others safe from a deadly virus that is easily transmissible.
It comes down to very individual choices. What do I need to do right now? becomes juxtaposed against what do I need right now? And how do I balance what I need emotionally with the very real physical risk?
For some, it becomes a kind of tightrope walk of justifications and compromises of: I'm healthy. Those people who I want to be with are healthy. This isn't going to happen to me. Just this once will be OK.
But it doesn't work that way. And all of those numbers on the right side of the TV screen each night attest to that fact. They were all individuals, not just numbers.
These justifications and compromises are examples of what is called magical thinking, which even rational, informed, level-headed human beings can have when pushed to certain emotional limits.
I know a lot of people do all of the right things and still contract COVID-19. Some of them get well and others die, and this more than likely will occur more with the new mutated strain of the virus.
All the more reason to continue to do the right thing.
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When I think of all this - the arc of the big picture - it reminds me of childbirth.
All births are different and individual, but there is one thing I've found common among many women's experience. Often, at the end of a long labor, when you're exhausted, fatigued, and the labor pains seem to be more intense and closer together, you just don't think you can go on. You look up at the nurse or midwife and say, “I can't do this anymore.”
And they look at you comfortingly and say, “Yes, dear,” which is code for “You have no choice; there's nowhere to go; it won't be long now.”
Just as we are nearing the home stretch of this terrible pandemic, now that it has mutated into something more contagious and therefore more deadly, we must continue to hunker down, walk the razor's edge, and do the right thing.
There's nowhere to go. And, as Dr. Fauci has reminded repeatedly, we will get through this.