Remember your senior year of high school? And the very real feelings of excitement and possibility and nerves? Now throw a pandemic on that.
No prom, no senior trip, no graduation - these are just a few of the things the class of 2020 is facing with the onset of COVID-19.
There are a lot of horrible things about COVID-19, from the loss of life and the suffering of those with the illness, to the hardships related to the stresses of quarantine and the economic impact we're all facing.
But this one's for the kids. Specifically, the kids - or really, young adults - who make up the class of 2020.
These are the same kids born just after 9/11. The ones who came fresh into a world turned upside down before they even had a chance to get to know it. My daughter happens to be one of them.
She and her peers have already faced a high school experience that included school shootings, emergency drills, social media pressures, climate change, terrorism, and teen suicide.
They have been forced to act as advocates for the issues their generation is facing. All the while, they are still trying to navigate dating, friendships, tests, college prep, and an unseen future.
These kids are stressed in ways I never was, and I'm only 17 years older than my daughter. Even as a teen mom who did miss out on prom and graduation and the rest, many of the situations my daughter faces are ones I cannot directly relate to.
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In this new reality for students, there do remain some classic high school milestones these kids hang on to. For my daughter, one was a band trip to Germany (a trip I spent four years paying off as a single mom), which has been a source of motivation and a promised adventure she's been planning and daydreaming about since before her freshman year even began.
But then COVID-19 reached our home state of Colorado.
On Monday, March 9, her school district understandably announced that all out-of-state and international school-sponsored trips would be canceled, “out of an abundance of caution” - the catchphrase of the week. Naturally, this led to tears and disappointment.
I took her out to The Saucy Noodle in Denver, a local, old-school red-sauce joint, for a serious dose of comfort food. We found other things to laugh about over chicken parm, garlic bread, and tiramisu, but the disappointment weighed heavily.
Cut to Wednesday, March 11. The CDC officially declared COVID-19 a pandemic. Trump issued the European travel ban. And now, even more of those high school senior milestones - the same ones I'd missed as a teen mom and was so excited for my daughter to experience - will not be a sure thing.
The next day, an email came from her school district stating that all school activities and athletics had been suspended. For my daughter, this means no track practice with her teammates and no weekend meets. The sense of camaraderie and accomplishment that she yearns for - as do all kids in school sports - has been taken away.
A few hours later, it became official: school would be cancelled for at least two weeks.
Next on the line is prom, which she bought a dress for months ago. And then, graduation, which her grandmother is planning on flying in from Florida to attend. We hope she can.
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As a society, we often and easily belittle the feeling of teens as “hormones” or “immaturity.” On the other hand, we may think of the modern teen as being so informed and aware of the bigger picture that losses like the ones they are facing won't impact them. They are the generation making waves on the world stage, after all. They are strong, intelligent, and resilient.
But their personal disappointment is real - no matter how woke or wise or angsty or hormonal you may think they are.
So to the parents, teachers, family friends, and adult role models in these kids' lives: As we're all glued to the news, caught up in arguments about politics and stressing about how this pandemic is going to play out in our jobs, our bank accounts, and our health, remember to give a little extra love and attention to the class of 2020.
Ask them how they're doing, and truly listen.
Don't belittle. Don't ignore. Don't argue.
And then take them out for pasta.
Let's do what we can to send the first high school graduates of the new decade out into the world with support. Because they need it right now.
And to my daughter and her peers, the high school class of 2020:
I, as one 35-year-old, grown-up teen mom, am with you. I feel your disappointment; I feel your losses. I empathize with the sense of being forgotten. And I know you must have anger about being - frankly - screwed over by circumstance right now.
Some of you may think you can't complain because “there are bigger problems in the world,” or because doing so would seem selfish, or because the conveniences of modern life mean that quite a few things are easier for you than they were for the generations before.
But you can. As I told my daughter, “Feel all the feels.” Support one another. Talk to the adults in your lives. Tell us how to help. Share your feelings and do what you can to turn them into a positive.
Because as I also told my daughter (as I do often), “You've got this.”
You've got perspective and strength that will - that must - shape the future.
This world, as unfair as it can sometimes be, needs you.