BRATTLEBORO — It's not about one man or one woman, it's about the integrity of the Supreme Court.
Though my gut is screaming for justice and my emotional response drives my beliefs to accept without a doubt Christine Blasey Ford's account, I took a few breaths today to put aside those personal and emotional responses so I could give a thought to the bigger picture.
The testimony of Brent Kavanaugh and Ford last Thursday was devastating and primed to create emotional responses on both sides. Ford was a powerful witness, and her testimony found resonance with a population who has faced sexual aggression and apathy towards their trauma.
I felt connected deeply and emotionally to Ford's story and her pain, and I vehemently admire her strength in reporting what happened to her.
Kavanaugh also provided an emotional testimony, including discussing what is at stake for him personally, even if these allegations are untrue. Undeniably, such accusations can cause lasting personal and professional impacts. We've seen it - our country has a dark history of destroying the accused without digging into truth and the burden of proof.
The argument about burden of proof and truth of the allegations is valid. The investigation by the FBI will not come to conclusions, but it will allow the public and Congress to see more detail and evidence in the case, if there is any.
While this is not a criminal investigation, the definition of truth - facts based on evidence - must be upheld in determining if this man is what these women are accusing him to be: a sexual predator.
But his guilt is not the most important question we are facing.
There is a context that we are operating in that goes beyond if one woman suffered trauma, or if one man's life will be ruined.
We like to personalize stories, but true democracy is not individual, it is collective. And the collective context from which we see this narrative emerging cements my belief that Brent Kavanaugh cannot be seated on the Supreme Court.
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A seat on the court was open during the last presidency and was held vacant by the majority leader of the Senate. Merrick Garland, then-President Barack Obama's nominee, by all precedent should have been given a hearing, but he was not. Saving seat for a Trump appointee has turned the balance of the court.
Also, the rules of approving nominations have been drastically changed from requiring a two-thirds majority to a simple majority.
But most importantly, our democracy is in crisis, and whoever is appointed will have a direct impact on the path our democracy takes.
It all circles around executive power. Kavanaugh is in favor of allowing anyone in the role of the president to be exempt from criminal investigation. That issue could become immediately relevant with the direction of the current FBI investigation into the Trump campaign and election interference from Russia.
Another major pending Supreme Court ruling could forbid states and the federal government to prosecute a person for the same crime. If the current practice is overturned, that decision could embolden the president to pardon criminals, including those who have been recently convicted or who will be tried in the next few months for crimes that relate to his campaign.
All of this while the president's own staff doesn't even trust him to govern, as revealed last month in a New York Times op-ed by an anonymous member of the Trump administration.
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With such high stakes, we cannot overlook the stigma and mistrust that would tarnish the Supreme Court if our lawmakers confirm a man accused of attempted and actual sexual harassment and assault, even if the system decides he was innocent.
Many would question the integrity of any decision made by a body that he was a part of. There have been too many examples in our justice system where victims of sexual predation have not been able to find justice.
Emotion is a relevant piece of trust and perception of integrity, and it terrifies me that someone accused of having a violent relationship to power might sit on the highest court in the land. Giving nine people such incredible power over the future of our democracy is a weighty investment of trust. We do not owe Brent Kavanaugh our trust, and he has not earned mine.
We do owe our trust to democracy, our Constitution, and the Supreme Court. Throughout their existence, they have taken our country slowly forward toward equality and true justice.
We are not there yet, but I hope that this process will shed light on how we can continue to improve, individually and collectively.
The president and the Senate should see the overarching implications of public mistrust of the Supreme Court, as should Kavanaugh, who has served in the justice system for decades.
If he is confirmed, the tarnish will take decades to dissolve, and these days we need a Supreme Court embodying the values that will uphold a Constitution dedicated to the balance of power in our country - from the highest court to a high-school party.