SAXTONS RIVER — I'm so sorry - and embarrassed.
I live in a small village. Lucky me? From my retirement perch on Main Street, I must report a problem and/or threat to tranquility and safety.
Shockingly, there are many drivers who completely ignore the posted speed limit! What? Break the law and endanger pedestrians, pets, and any other entity in the way just to get where you're going to start that dinner, walk that dog, have that drink?
It has to be for a reason much less banal than those possible excuses.
Well, after careful scientific research, I have deduced the culprit cause. It must be the air - it smells!
The smell is so bad that one dare not refill those lungs in this village.
“We gotta get out of this place” - so sang the Animals. When that state trooper pulls you over to write your traffic ticket, I suggest you claim olfactory offenses!
Tell that to the Traffic Court Judge.
Sincerely, and safely inside,