BRATTLEBORO — The topic of suicide is a sensitive one. Talking about it can be frightening for some, even embarrassing, but since receiving a federal Youth Suicide Prevention grant, the staff at the Center for Health and Learning have discovered a willingness on the part of those personally affected by a completed suicide to talk about their loss and to advocate for prevention and early intervention in an effort to spare others the pain they have experienced.
JoEllen Tarallo-Falk, executive director at the Center for Health and Learning, recalls the sudden death of a colleague.
“In 1982, while I was teaching in a small school in central Vermont, the second-grade teacher with whom I had become good friends committed suicide. We were co-producing the musical Oliver. He was directing the play and I was doing the piano accompaniment and assisting with the musical direction.
“One day he came to my classroom and said, 'If I didn't show up for the rehearsal on Monday, what would you do?'
“'I'd be madder than hell,' I laughed, 'but I guess I'd hold the rehearsal.'
“Two nights later, I was awakened by a call from the principal of my school at 4 a.m. He said, 'I wanted to tell you before you heard it on the radio. John killed himself last night.'
“In the week following,” says Tarallo-Falk, “I learned that John was suffering from mental health problems and had made several prior attempts at suicide, one just recently. Reflecting back on my conversation with John, I have thought many times, If only I had known.”
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When Linda Livendale, who chairs the Vermont chapter for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, heard that Vermont had been awarded the federal grant, she commented, “Vermont has not had any significant funding available for suicide prevention, as many other states have, and this will surely help.”
“Finally we will be able to implement the education component from the Vermont Suicide Prevention Plan in our schools,” said Livendale, who lost a son to suicide. “We will also be able to provide the 'gatekeeper' training so more people will recognize the signs and symptoms of depression and suicide, and know how to respond when a person is having suicidal feelings and know where to seek help. Hopefully we will be able to reduce unnecessary loss of life among Vermonters.”
“My extended family has experienced its own share of challenges and grief related to mental health and suicide issues,” said Brian Remer, recently hired by the Center for Health and Learning to serve as the Project Manager and Trainer for the Youth Suicide Prevention grant. “Suicide prevention and the need for youth to develop positive personal assets are issues that demand the wholehearted support of our entire community.”
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On the night of Oct. 25, a young man of 24 committed suicide in Dummerston. After reading about the Youth Suicide Prevention grant, his mother called the Center for Health and Learning to see how she could be involved.
“He had two really close friends, and it doesn't seem that he mentioned to either one of them that he was depressed,” she said. “ He was eating, sleeping, working, had good goals.”
He used a muzzle loader used in hunting, his mother said. “The gun doesn't have to be registered. You can walk into Wal-Mart and buy one. He was the most gentle person in the world and it doesn't make sense to have him be so violent at the end. Something terrible had taken over his mind.”
While this mother struggles to make sense of her loss, she also wants to make sure that it does not happen to others. Her son had dealt with substance abuse problems from the age of 15. Substance abuse and mental health issues, particularly depression, are often linked.
“There is no way I can go back in time to prevent my son's suicide,” she says. “But I want to do whatever I can do to prevent other youth suicides. I am willing to tell my story to prevent them because they are preventable. We must all be aware and reach out to our children in our community to encourage them to talk and get help.”
The staff at the Center for Health and Learning hopes that the Youth Suicide Prevention Project will help to remove the stigma attached to mental and emotional problems. Removing the stigma can make a significant contribution to improving early detection of mental health issues, providing treatment for addictive behavior, and creating environments that are physically and emotionally safe for recovery.