BRATTLEBORO — We advocates of the Women's Freedom Center lead educational workshops and discussions throughout Windham and southern Windsor counties, both in schools and throughout the larger community.
We speak in a variety of settings. One day, you might find an advocate leading a workshop with fourth graders on the negative impacts of gender stereotyping, and the next day you could see an advocate leading a training with rescue workers on first-responder protocol for a sexual-assault call.
We are speaking in classrooms, participating on panels, leading film discussions, and talking with law enforcement. We are at hospitals and at dentist offices. We do one-time workshops and longer forums, such as six-week series.
We speak about topics as vast as all the settings we go to: domestic violence 101, rape culture, unhealthy versus healthy relationships, bystander intervention, the social construction of gender, party culture and sexual assault on a college campus, teen dating violence, and media literacy - just to name a few.
Often, and especially when we are speaking with a new group, we are asked to speak about the work of the Women's Freedom Center, to offer a general overview of our services and why this work is important.
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A central component of all this work, regardless of setting or topic, is highlighting the epidemic of violence against women and shining a light on systemic oppression.
We try to build awareness around the necessity of why our work is focused on women and also get at the very root of why there is so much violence.
Often, we are given a time frame of 60 to 90 minutes for a one-time workshop with a new group of people. The time constraints and one-time settings are a challenge.
How best to use this time? How to make this information accessible to everyone, including some who might never have talked about these issues before? What do we want the audience to leave with? What is most important?
Additionally, we are always aware of the sensitivity of the subject matter.
There might be both survivors and perpetrators in the room, and - definitely - most of us in the room know someone who has been affected by this type of violence.
Domestic and sexual violence remain highly stigmatized despite much progress, and the topic can create much defensiveness. The information and lens we have on the issue is often not popular, not palatable and - sometimes - not even heard.
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One of the more consistent questions we get asked is: why the Women's Freedom Center? What about the men?
This question often comes after we have gone through many statistics, talking about the high rate at which women experience violence (1 in 3 do). After we've discussed that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44. And, furthermore, after we've informed the group that the vast majority of violence inflicted upon women is by men.
The Women's Freedom Center supports all survivors of domestic and sexual violence, but our focus is on ending men's violence against women.
We do not ignore that women can be and are at times violent toward men and other women. Yet the focus is necessary. We need to understand the larger patterns of perpetration in order to critically examine the institution of patriarchy, a social system that grants men power in society and deems women subordinate.
Men perpetrate most violence - not only against women, but also against children and other men. Naming this does not mean we are anti-male. Naming this is an invitation to think critically.
By intentionally shining a spotlight on the fact that most perpetrators of violence against women are men, we as a society are much-better positioned to look for real solutions and effective prevention - prevention that focuses on perpetrators and the oppressive system of patriarchy from which gender violence stems.
The fact that this question gets raised time and time again illustrates to us the need for more education to get people to critically understand patriarchy - the very system we all interact with daily.
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Asking a women's center about inclusivity regarding men suggests that not only are women responsible to work to end men's violence against women but that we are also responsible for ending men's violence against other men.
Boys and men who experience violence deserve support, and this truth must be understood in conjunction with that fact that most boys and men who experience violence are assaulted by other men.
So why aren't more men working to end men's violence against other men (and, of course, working to end violence against women)?
We always welcome conversation and the thoughtful questions. They challenge us and inspire us to continue to articulate, name, and find creative ways to teach about domestic and sexual violence.
We hope that many of you out there challenge yourselves to learn more. We cannot do our work alone, and a one-time, 60-minute workshop often just cracks the surface.