DUMMERSTON — It has been one year.
November 28, 2013 is the first anniversary of my father's (Gary Blomgren's) death. It happens to land on Thanksgiving Day this year.
I have been trying to write this thank-you letter for a year now. Even as the shame, guilt, and embarrassment piled up at not being able to complete this task, I just couldn't.
I reminded myself that Dad would be appalled at my lapse of manners. It didn't matter. Every time I sat down to write, the grief was paralyzing. By now, I must be a platinum customer for Kleenex.
I sincerely apologize for being unable to do this sooner, but now I would like to thank the following individuals and organizations:
Dr. Thomas H. Lewis, surgeon, for your compassionate use of truth; Agnes Mikijaniec, NP and the oncology department at Brattleboro Memorial Hospital; Bayada Hospice Care; Capt. Karen Rancourt and Chris Finnell of Rescue, Inc; Hotel Pharmacy; those who participated in Meal Train; the folks at Windham Southeast Regional Supervisory Union; Eternal Blessings Crematory; The Commons; The Reformer; Lotus Graphics; Amy's Bakery Arts Café; Susanna Griefen; Dan Heller; Bill Warriner; and all the gracious musicians who shared their gifts with us at the memorial.
Thank you to friends and neighbors for taking care of us in so many ways: snowplowing, cards, flowers, food, notes, hugs, and more Kleenex.
And then there is Brattleboro Union High School, Dad's home away from home.
Thank you to all staff, students, and teachers. You went far beyond anything we could have dreamed of. The acts of love, kindness, and support were like the stars - too numerous to count. The cliché is true.
Thank you to the art department: Liz DiNord, Dave Mazor, Richard Heller, Braelyn Ingvoldstad, Kathleen Sweeney, and Karen Trenosky. Finally, Principal Steve Perrin, I cannot find words rich enough to thank you.
I am certain I have forgotten many, but how could I not? The response in our time of need was simply stunning. Please, it does not mean I am any less grateful, just that I am human. I am sorry.
Thanksgiving in our family is truly a family day. OK, food and football make an appearance, too. And yet, this Thanksgiving will mark the first year without Dad.
How can I be thankful for that? How can I reconcile the loss of someone so loved on a day that is set aside specifically for being thankful?
The answer is: I can't. I am neither grateful nor thankful for his death and the aftermath, but this initial Thanksgiving without Dad, I am thankful for two things.
The first is unhindered and pure. I am so very grateful to every single person who saw my family through.
The second is more complicated. From Maya Angelou's poem “When Great Trees Fall”:
“And when great souls die,/after a period peace blooms,/ slowly and always/irregularly. Spaces fill/with a kind of/ soothing electric vibration./Our senses, restored, never/to be the same, whisper to us./They existed. They existed./We can be. Be and be/better. For they existed.”
“Be and be better. For they existed.” This is the second thing I will be thankful for this Thanksgiving: that he existed, and I can be better for it. Let it be so.